Before you fall in love and walk down the aisle, here are questions to ask to protect yourself from heartaches In these days and these times, you fall in love deliberately and with your eyes open, not hopelessly and thoughtlessly! You don’t fall in love or walk down the aisle in marriage without taking into considerations some pertinent questions in order to protect yourself and to be sure you know what you are doing! Gone are those days when you should fall in love blindly and go into a marriage without your common sense! Well, if you are still with the slogan that love is a blinder, I have news for you, marriage is an eye opener. Reality settles in after marriage. It is for this reason careless marriages end few months after! Trust me, I get calls every other day, of brides who are still supposed to be in the moon taking some honey, crying and weeping profusely and talking about regrets. I get calls of ladies who are married for less than six months and they want to walk out of the marriage because they never knew ‘he was like this!’ There is a popular saying that God gave us brains that He may rest! It is true because after God finished the work of creation, the bible says God rested. I believe God is resting because everything is completed, all we need for life and Godliness is already provided. The same is true of our relationships, everything we ever need is already available, we only need to look within us and draw it out. Part of drawing all we need, I believe is asking ourselves certain questions. Questions are very powerful, what they do is that they draw out wisdom from within us or from people around us who are graced with such wisdom. Ask yourself these questions before saying 'I do' Ask these questions before you fall in love and every reasoning disappears! #1. Can I see myself in the picture of his future? What is his future like based on what he is doing now? What is he doing now? Who is she? What kind of work? Does this person love God? Is he protective of my virtue or does not mind me compromising? #2. Do I love him/her enough for marriage? Can I live with him till death do us part? Do I really love him or her or am I just going into this marriage for something I can get like money or some influence? #3. Am I proud of him/her physically, mentally and spiritually? Do I like his or her appearance? Would I be embarrassed introducing him or her to friends? #4. Will my kids be proud and approve of him/her? Would he be a great example? Is he a man of his word? Does he have integrity? Would he influence my children to drink, smoke and to some other vices? Would she be a good mother? Is he loafer or very hardworking? Is she enterprising? #5. Is it the right time? Am I rushing? Am I too young? Did we have sufficient friendship and courtship? Do I really know him or her since I can only love the person I know? #6. Is the feeling mutual? Am I forcing myself on him or her? Does he or she reciprocates the love or treats me anyhow? #7. Is God involved? Do I have peace about this relationship? What are my Pastors saying? What about my parents? What about my siblings? Do I have peace? Am I sure this is of God? Am I sure I am not on my own? Do I have God’s support and favour? Ask yourself these questions and make sure you find answers to all of them and you would have succeeded in doing yourself a lot of good. You would have contributed to your happiness and taken charge of future. Don’t allow pressures brought about by delays or friends to make you decide and cling to what will obviously not work out. There is no need to rush into a marriage because you are desperate only to get there and suffer silently because you never knew who you were dealing with. Once you know a relationship is not of God or it is defective, don’t hesitate to end it all in order to do it right. A broken heart is still much better than a broken life! If you are already married, and you are no longer happy, try and talk to someone for advice. Do not be rash in your decision and don’t jump at divorce as first option. That is why you can still call on God! As long as the issues are the regular ones brought about by different personalities, they can still be resolved prayerfully and with patience. When issues are bothering on unrepentant adulterous lifestyle and or physical violence and abuse wherein your life is no longer safe, then you can start seeking help immediately whether going separate ways is the thing to do to preserve you life. However, know at the back of your mind that God can turn situations around and that God hates divorce! May God give you wisdom and send the very help you need to you today in Jesus name! I pray for you this day with the grace of God that backs up my call that God will give a new wine in your marriage! I speak to all storms, be still in Jesus name! I rebuke the hand of the devil over your relationship and marriage, loose your grip in Jesus name! Go back to God if you know your relationship with Him is not too good again because that is the foundation of getting blessed by Him! It is well! CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I possess wisdom, wisdom directs my actions. I am not blindly in love that I do not apply wisdom. I am patient to find out what I need to find out before saying 'I do'. Every trap regret is eliminated in my life. PRAYERS FOR THE DAY: Lord, help me to do my part and follow your leading in my decisions especially in the area of my relationship. I receive fresh wisdom from you to direct my path in Jesus' name. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Matthew 7:7 'Ask (questions), and the answer shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you'. ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a pen and paper and write down all the questions you are going to ask the person you intend to marry, whether he/she is already around or not. Be prepared, so you are not so much in love that all sense of reasoning is gone.